Sometimes I feel like there’s not enough time in a day to focus on my passion for writing. What do you do when your loved one takes up most of your day and leaves you little time to focus on you? Lately it feels like a tug of war, I’m constantly trying to break free from Brittany’s need for my attention. She has lost all motivation and has continued to decline. This is extremely time consuming and can become stress-full for a caregiver.

When I first started my Journey to Self-care, things were working out well, a routine was building. We would chat over our morning coffee and discuss how to start our day. This was helpful and eliminated the opportunity for Brittany to over think and panic about the day. I encourage her with simple reminders and suggestions to help motivate her and give her the push she needs. I had a lot of time to focus on my blogging. Unfortunately recent events have set her back and now she has become very reliant on me once again.

She follows me in every room but has no interests in any activities. As much as I want to ignore her and concentrate on my own agenda, it’s not a choice, she requires constant stimulation. It’s never a good idea to leave her alone with her thoughts. Once she puts herself in a dark place it completely takes over her mind and body.

This was leaving me very little time to myself and as a result, causing some friction between the two of us. I had to find a way to allow a little space between us with out making it too obvious. We played a lot of scrabble, darts, and Yahtzee and watched wife-swap. I was left feeling anxious. and annoyed at times. I want to be on my computer but there’s just not enough time in a day.

The past few days I still have not been able to find some space between us but I did manage to find a way to get some valuable me time. Instead of planning her day in the morning I shared my daily goals with her. I then asked her what she could do to allow me some time to complete my daily goal. There was no suggestion on my part, instead I waited to see how she would respond. It may sound a little manipulating but I know Brittany has a big heart and she will want to be helpful. She knows it’s important to me and I won’t achieve my goal if I have to focus on her.

Her eyes started to flutter and her face began to twitch, here we go. I was sure my attempt to get some me time was not going to work. After a few minutes things were back to normal and Brittany lit a cigarette. “So what are we going to do today?” she said. I gasped and was just about ready to remind her of our conversation. Then she quickly suggested she do some drawings for my site. “Okay, so that’s how our day was to begin.

I knew if I left her room it may be a little to risky but she needs her computer to draw. Although it’s not the best scenario to stay in her room, at least we can come up with an individual project to work on. So that is how our day is to begin. I look forward to sharing the second part of this day with you tomorrow.